"And now it's morning, we are the sleepyheads"

1) Kebab friends are priceless...
2) Sometimes I feel very violent; someday someone will get their balls chopped off. at least I know I'm not the only one who feels like this sometimes :)
3) I don't like Postcolonial studies very much (sorry ayla! I love you)
4) Cheap red wine is an excellent solution to the question of getting intoxicated cheaply
5) Galway in two days, very exciting
6) White Noise made me feel like a hospital, or like this empty computer lab

This trip is having a stranger effect on me than I actually thought. Sometimes I feel very much like myself, and rarely, I don't, but mostly I feel like me only on like, an X-treme show, as if there was some creepy loud announcer saying "XTREME"
super loud or something. I'm much more vocal about my opinions (haha, as if I could be, but I swear I am)... if I don't like something, there's no pretending... and if I don't like a person, forget being diplomatic... it's blunt all the way here.
I'm much less in my head, and much more on my tongue, if that makes sense... however, the old trope of nightly introspection and wanderlust and heartache still exists, but in a totally different way, more direct, more potent. Sometimes it feels like my chest will hollow itself out with feeling, at night... And yet in other ways, besides anger, all my other feelings feel subdued, not really lessened but just less intense, though i feel I could swim in them like I usually do if I actually dove in. it's like I'm waiting for something to happen, and in the meantime I'm doing all these crazy things like getting along with some unexpected people and simply despising (1) other, and getting more swimmy-eyed than I have in my life.
and I'm always halfway between wanting to go home so bad, and on the other hand getting sick at the thought of returning to the drab.

I also feel like any learning I'm doing is mostly exposure that I'll come to appreciate in different ways later.
I'm like a sponge now, hopefully I'll produce later, though I'm trying to do it as much as possible without forcing... Come what come may!

"Brave men tell the truth
Wise men's tools are analogies and fools
A woman holds her tongue, knowing silence will speak
for her"

haha. yeah RIGHT.


Lastly, I want to sing so badly... it's driving me crazy. and I know just who I want to sing with :)